Writing a Memorable College Essay and Cover Letter

• Captivating Introduction (~1/4 of the page)

• Compelling story (~1/2 of the page)

• Meaningful Reflection (~1/4 of the page)

Good Example: I’ve never been good at breathing.

Explanation: This opener is unexpected, even bizarre—what could this person be getting at? How can you be bad at breathing?

The student goes on to describe her experience with asthma and how it has affected her life. It’s not a strange topic, but the introduction is certainly intriguing. This sentence keeps the admissions officer reading, giving the student more of an opportunity to keep their attention and make her point.

In a sea of essays with standard openings such as “One life-changing experience for me was…” or “I overcame an obstacle when…,” this introduction stands out and yours should, too!

Good example: I wiped the sweat from my head and tried to catch my breath. I was nearly there—just one more back tuck and a strong dismount and I’d have nailed a perfect routine.

Explanation: Instead of explicitly stating, "A time I felt pressure was a gymnastic competition, where I had to get a perfect routine to win it all for my team," we get thrown into the moment! By doing so, the reader doesn't need to be told what you were experiencing but instead gets a glimpse of it themselves. This is not only more unique then simply telling someone, you are forcing your reader to be in your shoes for a brief moment.

Now, the moment or memory you choose is up to you. It doesn't have to be a good or bad memory per se, it could be you simply remembering something about a person you admire or something foolish you've thought or done in the past. However, whichever moment you choose, make sure it holds significance to you or your growth as a person!

Good example of Showing instead of Telling:

The restaurant was packed, and I could feel the sweat dripping down the back of my neck. Table 12 still needed refills, and I was on my fifth trip to the kitchen to check on Table 8’s gluten-free request. My feet throbbed, but as I delivered plates and smiled through each interaction, my focus never wavered. I had told myself that every customer tonight would leave satisfied, no matter how chaotic things got. When my boss pulled me aside and said, 'You didn’t take a single break,' I only nodded. There wasn’t time to rest—not when the job wasn’t done yet. 

Bad example:

I had a teacher once tell me I’m the most determined student she’s ever taught, and I don’t doubt it. When I set a goal, there’s no stopping me. I’ll work at it until it’s achieved—even if it’s to my own detriment.

Writing about yourself can be hard, especially if you are writing about a difficult time or moment in your life. However, these lived experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection (think pathos!) to the reader, making you more real to them. 

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession in your story, but you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to give color to your story and speak to how this defining moment or moment of growth mattered. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. A simple rule: be vulnerable and show us how you were impacted inside and out by this moment.

Bad example: My mother’s death taught me that life is short.

Good example: Losing my mother was like losing my breath. An empty chair at the dinner table, my father’s inability to find where my mother kept the coffee filters, or even routine trips to the grocery store一these were just a few reminders of her absence. My father started road biking to deal with his grief, and every Saturday morning, he invited me to come along. Although the darkness of 5 a.m. always tempted me to fall back into a slumber I would later regret, I would jump out of bed and throw on my awkwardly padded uniform and clunky bike shoes. Initially, I hated road biking, especially the stopping part. At every red light, I would frantically struggle to unclip my bike shoes from the pedals, often leaning the wrong way and falling sideways to the ground while still clipped into the bike. Though frustrated with a bruised ego and scraped knees, I would always get back up to try again.

1. Adding the senses (touch, smell, sight, taste and sound) makes your writing come to life. 

2. Using specific names of people, places, or things helps make the essay feel real and not imagined. Instead of saying "a friend," try saying their first name or what their nickname is. You'd be surprised how much of a difference it can make!

3. Being descriptive in your writing is important because it helps your reader feel like they're in the moment with you. Imagine reading a story where someone just says, "I was scared." It’s not very interesting, right? But if they describe the cold sweat on their palms, the thudding in their chest, and the shadows creeping in around them, you suddenly feel what they’re feeling. 

He held up the sheet of wrinkled paper, his eyes in silent protest.

The tattered bill requested $13,800 dollars for a three-day hospital stay.

“Why call the ambulance? Just leave me alone!” the frail old man muttered. Just a week ago, Mr. Vu suffered a stroke that required hospitalization. Because he could not understand English, Mr. Vu had not applied for health insurance, resulting in the exorbitant bill.

An internship at an Asian clinic opened my eyes to the untold story of limited-English proficiency patients, who often struggle to obtain health care in a maze of foreign forms and convoluted policies.

Suffering from a worsening stomachache, Mrs. Wong was neglected in the county hospital for over two hours, unable to flag down a passing nurse for assistance because of the language barrier. Clutching a X-Ray order, Mr. Park searched in vain for Radiology in a blinding flurry of English letters.

Over the summer, these stories became too common – accounts of immigrants fighting for their right to care in a shockingly monolingual health system. After the internship, I participated in a medical interpretation training program and was licensed as a Mandarin health interpreter in November. I wanted to change the status quo.

My experiences this summer solidified my conviction of entering into public health, especially immigrant health, as my future course of study. America has long prided itself as a “melting pot” of cultures. Isn’t it only fitting that there exists equitable access to health care, regardless of the language spoken?

Many successful essays follow a “sandwich,” or full-circle structure (also known as cyclical structure!), meaning that they start with some image or idea, veer away from it in the middle, and then return to it at the end. This structure is clean, self-contained, and satisfying for readers, so it’s a great choice if it works with the topic you’ve chosen.

Good Example of a “Sandwich” Essay’s Outline:

Captivating Introduction

• I may be the world’s worst firefighter.

Compelling Storytelling

• Flashback to working on the school musical

• Demonstrate my passion for theater

• Detail the story of the theater set catching fire

• Show how I made the most of the situation

Meaningful Reflection

• I proved my value as a director, an actor, and a writer that week一even if I was a terrible firefighter.

Ending on an action can be a strong way to wrap up your essay. This might mean including a literal action, dialogue, or continuation of the story to leave us wanting more.

Good example:
I had practiced aerial cartwheels on my lawn, on a trampoline, and while practicing my routine on this very same balance beam. But now, the eyes of thousands of spectators were on me as I prepared to propel myself through the air with no support except my own courage. I took a deep breath, raised my hands in the air, and jumped.

What are some concrete details about this selfie stick and the man holding it?

What are the abstract ideas associated with selfie stick, this man, or even selfie culture?

Team A: Freedom as Absence of Constraints

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1. Open statement

• How do laws, rules, or societal expectations limit personal freedom?

• What examples (historical or personal) show that removing restrictions leads to greater freedom?

• How does your team define freedom?

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2. Rebuttal (refuting your opponent's opening statement)

• What are the risks of imposing rules or boundaries on personal freedom? Can this lead to oppression or restriction of potential?

• In what ways do rules stifle creativity or prevent individuals from reaching their full potential?

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3. Cross examination (questioning)

• If freedom requires boundaries, who gets to decide what those boundaries are? Can they be biased or manipulated?

• Can people still be considered free if their actions are restricted by rules?

• Isn’t personal responsibility sufficient to prevent one person’s freedom from infringing on another’s?

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4. Closing argument

• How does your interpretation of freedom promote justice and individual freedom?

• Why is a world with fewer constraints more likely to promote human growth and progress?

• What’s the most compelling reason that society should embrace freedom as the absence of constraints?

Team B: Freedom Within Boundaries

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1. Open statement

• How do rules and boundaries protect or enhance freedom?

• What examples can show that freedom within rules has led to greater fairness, stability, or progress?

• How does your team define freedom?

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2. Rebuttal (refuting your opponent's opening statement)

• What are the dangers of a world without boundaries or rules? Could unrestricted freedom lead to chaos, inequality, or harm to others?

• How does unchecked freedom lead to the domination of the powerful over the weak?

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3. Cross examination (questioning)

• How do you prevent one person’s freedom from harming another without any rules in place?

• Can society function effectively without rules, or would it lead to disorder and inequity?

• In what ways can boundaries enhance freedom by protecting individuals or communities?

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4. Closing argument

• How does your version of freedom ensure fairness and protect the rights of all individuals?

• Why are boundaries necessary to prevent harm and maintain equality in society?

• What is the strongest evidence that freedom within boundaries leads to more positive outcomes?